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Women Characters Intimidate TV Network Executive

Over the decades television has morphed its way into the homes of virtually everyone on the planet. If it weren’t for television the inevitable World War III would likely have already begun. Television, with the exception of the 2016 US Election, which is clearly America’s idea of an extremely tedious and unfunny prank, is the source of mindless happiness for millions of people everyday. Recently a shift in new programming has started to alarm television network executives concerning where the future of television is headed.

We asked one such TV executive if he would speak with us about the problems these fresh programs are creating.

“We receive about 7 or 8 new pilot pitches a day and overwhelmingly they are consistently introducing plots and shows based around women characters. This is so difficult for us because we love our women audiences but there are already so many shows that are specifically targeting a female audience and so often we forget about the male viewers. You know,” he chuckled with a smirk as he motioned for his questionably young assistant to bring him another vegan triple vodka, “-you know the men who are out working all day for their families! I’m just kidding. I would never say something like that, this is off the record right?”

Many argue that women characters are necessary to help empower female audiences. However, two mediocre studies from a Meninist website have concluded that in fact, shows with predominantly male characters, in large part actually attract more casual female viewers. We asked our executive if he could comment why the highly anticipated ‘Nancy Drew’ series was not picked up.

“It’s basic math. Television already has too many shows with female protagonists.” We asked if he could name five.

“Sure,” he slurred, concentrating on why his pen was suddenly so difficult to recap. “On the show with all the doctors, there are women. And that’s showing women surgeons which never happens in real life! The show with the two brothers who fight monsters – that show has one entire episode about two lady cops. Where else on television are there lady cops? They don’t even let women carry guns. The whole cast of ‘The Bachelor’ is women and in that show they get a prize, a husband. Nothing is more empowering than that…. And…. well, Blossom was a woman…”

Television shows from the 80’s aside, it is clear that female and male characters are still not considered equal.

Actress Kim Rhodes recently tweeted, “Oh. Well. GOD FORBID a show draw a female audience with female characters.”

According to valid sources- namely accounts on Twitter that have the default egg shape as their profile picture- this is considered an archaic way of thinking and obviously represses men (who have historically been consistently considered beneath women). Rhodes plays one of the “lady cops” on the “show about the brothers” and The Kale can confirm her and Briana Buckmaster are both beloved characters and endorse a spin-off show immediately. While Kale full heartily agrees with the frustration Rhodes and millions of other women have over the lack of female representation, we are also a legitimate unbiased news source and would never pick sides. So our official statement is #notallTVexecs.

Please look for a follow up article on the overwhelming amount of characters on television and film who are people of color or LGBTQ and how it has made it virtually impossible for any straight, Caucasian actor(ress) to be cast in anything because of it.

One comment on “Women Characters Intimidate TV Network Executive

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