A Wayward Second
This supernatural world that we live in has granted us an extra second of life this year. For my extra second, I plan on revolutionizing the way I live and breathe. Literally. I plan on holding my breath for that extra second to really test my limits. Unless a wayward banshee appears and startles me, this shouldn’t be a problem. In fact, I’ve prepared myself for this moment my entire life. I’m a certified scuba diver and that extra second could be the difference between life and death. This skill is critical when going deep down under water. It can make for a pleasant experience, or really ruin the mood. If I succeed, I am planning a huge celebration. Popsicles and streamers are a must. I will share the news with new friends via twitter, since my online life is my real life, and my real life is my online life.
There is a smol chance I will fail. I don’t see how this can happen, but anything is possible. If I do fail, I will remember all the people who have cared for me along the way. The friends who encouraged me to watch suspenseful television shows with monsters every week, the kind that made me sometimes hold my breath in fear and anticipation. I will remember that love is precious, and that sometimes we succeed and sometimes we don’t- that’s most often based on whether your lastname has the word “win” at the beginning of it. Now, inhale.