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BREAKING: Government Agents confirm a real Angel walks among us

Forty Two years ago a real life Angel was born into the vessel of Dmitri Tippens Krushnic, and lives among us masquerading as actor name Misha Collins. We had the pleasure of sitting down and discussing the global impact of this Angel living among humans with Supernatural creatures expert, Fox Mulder.

TheKale (TK): How did you come to discover Misha Collins is an angel and not a human?

Fox Mulder (M): It wasn’t hard to figure out. Have you met the guy? He radiates angelic qualities. Even when he’s reading “Go the Fuck To Sleep”, or urinating on himself in an airplane restroom- you can literally hear Heaven applauding.

TK: What are his specific angelic qualities?

M: Kindness, passion, creativity, integrity, thoughtfulness, intelligence, humor, emphatic, the ability to roast presidential candidates using only 140 characters on Twitter… Just to name a few. Beautiful…

TK: Beautiful.

M: The man is handsome. I’m confident enough in myself to say he’s downright sexy.

[We are interrupted by a woman entering the room. She introduces herself as Dana Scully.]

Dana Scully [S]: Who are you objectifying, Mulder? And don’t tell me you are on that rant again about Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles being government created to be the perfect human specimens, in mind body and soul. We went over this. They are robots. Perfect robots.

[The Kale wonders if Scully has been reading our blog.]

M: No, Misha Collins. It’s his birthday today.

S: He is much more than being sexy Mulder. His charity work with his organization Random Acts, has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for people all over the world. He is the type of actor who goes to conventions and passes out food to his fans, and truly tries to brighten everyone’s day. And Gishwhes! An international week of fun and kindness. You would like it, it’s weird. Like you.

M: I’m touched. Weird is something I proudly own. But all of that is why I know  he isn’t human!

S: Oh Mulder. Why are you encouraging this, Kale? And why am I talking to a plant? And why does all of this, as usual, seem so causal and normal even though it is far from rational?

M: I was just explaining how he is an Angel.

S: [immediately nods] Oh, right. Yes, he is an angel.

M: The presence of an Angel walking this earth for the past 42 years has been subtle but profound. Kale became a Superfood. Clearly he invented social media. And the world is a little more kind, just knowing that he- as an angel- is probably watching everything we do at all times.

S: As a scientist, and medical professional I will confirm that A) Misha is an Angel and B) The world is better with him in it. Now can we stop talking to vegetables and get back on this case? Those two Winchester Brothers are claiming they are caught in a parallel universe again.

M: Nice talking to you, plant.

So there you have it. Confirmed by science. Misha Dmitri Tippens Krushnic Collins, is literally an angel.

Happy Birthday. We love you.

-Kale

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One comment on “BREAKING: Government Agents confirm a real Angel walks among us

  1. Jenn Moss says:

    Lol! A funny and touching tribute to Misha. 🙂

    Like

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